Sheep State

A white-faced sheep chews grass in a grey pasture while observed through a car windshield via telephoto lens, its eyes fixed directly at the camera.

The Sheep State Did Not Cause the GrundleCoin Collapse. Why Won't Anyone Let Me Say Otherwise?

A modest thought experiment the revisionist project would prefer you never conduct

By Graham Holt · Nov 8, 2026

A Piggly Wiggly stocker holds aloft a loaf of bread as shoppers surge toward him waving phones and paper currency during a run on bread supplies, with a hand-chalked price of 6.8M visible on a shelf board behind him.

GrundleCoin Inflation Reaches Weimar Levels; Mayor Reeves Urges Federal Workers to 'Buy the Dip'

Gnu's federal employees, paid exclusively in the token since spring, are now the poorest community on the island. Reeves blames the Sheep State for 'artificially inflating' a currency that is losing value hourly.

By Margaret Huang · Nov 7, 2026

Copies of the quarterly labor report sit beside unclaimed survey envelopes at the New Newmanton Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Local

Unemployment Rises 15.8% Despite Substantial Loss of People Available to Be Unemployed

Reeves accuses the Sheep State of manipulating figures; labor bureau says missing residents have already improved them.

By Margaret Huang · Nov 10, 2026

Parishioners queue before the gilded statue of Saint Cletith in the cathedral nave, where votive candles illuminate the saint's extended arm, the huddled figure at his feet, and the marble sheep encircling his legs, their eyes fixed outward into the incense-hazed dimness.

Local

Island Honors Saint Cletith, Patron of the Downtrodden and Bestiality, With Annual Procession; Diocese Again Declines to Elaborate

Record 2,300 bowls of soup served as number of eligible downtrodden rises 18 percent; Gnu Petting Zoo closed for the day, as it has been every November 1 since 1949

By Margaret Huang · Nov 1, 2026

A Gnu Police Department evidence van parked outside the Westhaven farmhouse on Thursday afternoon. A second van arrived approximately one hour later.

Local

Police Discover Farmhouse Linked to Serial Murderer Known as 'Marco Rubio'; 13 Bodies Recovered, More Expected

Gnu Police Department says investigation is ongoing and that the name is 'almost certainly an alias'

By Margaret Huang · Jun 9, 2026

A mother applies rotisserie grease to her doorframe by lantern light while her second-born son watches as the Chicken Bitch Ranch sign glows on the hillside behind their home.

Local

Every First-Born Son on Island Dies After Super Virus Linked to Chicken Bitch Ranch

Department of Health calls outbreak 'contained,' notes chain remains open pending inspection scheduled for next quarter

By Margaret Huang · Sep 19, 2026

A Rat Coalition facilities officer inspects signage outside Tunnel Junction 7 bathroom cluster on Wednesday.

Local

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issue

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

Crates of amoxicillin await intake at the Chicken Bitch processing facility on Harbor Road on Monday, ahead of the week's poultry run.

Local

Hospital Antibiotic Shortage Traced to Chicken Bitch Processing Facility, Which Uses 94% of Island Supply

Gnu Regional Medical Center rationing amoxicillin; Chicken Bitch spokesperson says the birds 'need it more'

By James Okonkwo · Sep 14, 2026

The New Newmanton News

Sheep State

The Sheep State Did Not Cause the GrundleCoin Collapse. Why Won't Anyone Let Me Say Otherwise?

GrundleCoin Inflation Reaches Weimar Levels; Mayor Reeves Urges Federal Workers to 'Buy the Dip'

Related Articles

Unemployment Rises 15.8% Despite Substantial Loss of People Available to Be Unemployed

Island Honors Saint Cletith, Patron of the Downtrodden and Bestiality, With Annual Procession; Diocese Again Declines to Elaborate

Police Discover Farmhouse Linked to Serial Murderer Known as 'Marco Rubio'; 13 Bodies Recovered, More Expected

Every First-Born Son on Island Dies After Super Virus Linked to Chicken Bitch Ranch

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Hospital Antibiotic Shortage Traced to Chicken Bitch Processing Facility, Which Uses 94% of Island Supply