Chicken Bitch

Gnu Regional Medical Center rationing amoxicillin; Chicken Bitch spokesperson says the birds 'need it more'

By James Okonkwo · Sep 14, 2026

Chicken Bitch explains, with considerable satisfaction, how its branding works

Paid Partnership with Chicken Bitch · Jun 8, 2026

Woman sustained minor smoke inhalation; rats described the rescue as 'standard protocol'

By James Okonkwo · Jun 8, 2026

Total Bastard Oil: still here, still pumping, still not sorry

Paid Partnership with Total Bastard Oil · May 22, 2026

The armed intruder at your door doesn't stand a chance — but neither do you, and that's the whole point

Paid Partnership with SafeFirst Dynamics · Jul 1, 2026

Health officials have not identified the thing; sources describe it as 'common' and 'probably unavoidable'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

A dispatch from the feed, day seventeen. Or twenty-two. The number keeps changing but the bacteria are consistent.

By Wren Hollister · May 22, 2026

The New Newmanton News