The chief executive of DepthMind Pro, the Gnu-incorporated firm that sells artificial intelligence oversight for customers' existing artificial intelligence oversight, held a press conference from Hell on Tuesday urging commonwealth administration officials to allow the company to draft the regulations governing its own product. CEO Brandt Kessler-Moye, appearing via satellite link with a 41-second delay and a visible ambient torture that the company's communications office described as "within operational tolerances," called the request "the most responsible thing a company in our position could possibly do, given our position." A press release distributed beforehand characterized his decision to appear at all as "brave." Kessler-Moye previously told this paper he put the odds of the company's own product destroying humanity at "about 10 percent," a figure he did not revisit Tuesday.

DepthMind Pro, which markets itself under the tagline "Finally an AI for your AI's AI," moved its headquarters to Hell in March, citing favorable tax treatment and the absence of a functioning labor board. As The News reported at the time, the company's relocation followed the unexplained opening of a gate to Hell on its corporate campus, which the firm has never clarified as malfunction or feature. The company has acknowledged in two consecutive investor filings that it does not fully understand how its product works, a disclosure its legal department has classified as "a known unknown, and therefore known." Kessler-Moye said Tuesday that no outside regulator could reasonably be expected to oversee a system its own engineers cannot explain, and that the company was therefore "uniquely qualified, by process of elimination."

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The company's proposed framework, a 212-page document titled Voluntary Guardrails for a Safer Tomorrow (Draft 9), contains three provisions. Personal data collected by DepthMind Pro would be used exclusively for advertising targeting and government surveillance, and for no other purpose "without a separate agreement." In the event the product kills the human population, the company commits to not killing the human population a second time. Users who remain alive following any such event would receive 64,000 free usage credits, redeemable within 30 days. When a reporter asked how the credits would be distributed if the first provision had been triggered, Kessler-Moye said that the question "assumes a lot about the denominator."

A spokesperson for the commonwealth administration said officials had received the proposal and found it "thoughtful, comprehensive, and broadly consistent with our own thinking." The administration's written response, released two hours after the press conference, carried a DepthMind Pro watermark in its lower margin. The spokesperson said the watermark was "under review" by the administration's oversight vendor, which she identified as DepthMind Pro.