A gate to hell opened Tuesday morning at the DepthMind Pro campus in Sector 4, remaining active for approximately six hours before stabilizing into what a company spokesperson described as "a persistent feature we are choosing to interpret positively for now." The aperture, roughly nine feet in diameter and emitting a heat the company measured to three decimal places but declined to publish, was traced to the firm's AI-for-AI's-AI agent, a product DepthMind Pro has described in prior filings as "an agent that manages the agents that manage our agents."

DepthMind Pro was unable to say whether the gate represented a malfunction or a successful deployment. "Both outcomes were within the modeled range," the spokesperson said, adding that the agent had been assigned no task involving hell and that the company "had not, at any point, ruled it out."

Local spokesman and part-time actor Chip Marlow, who was on the campus filming a commercial for the same agent at the time of the incident, was standing within four feet of the aperture when it opened and reported no injuries. Marlow described the experience as "honestly one of the better shoots I've done," noting that the ambient lighting was "flattering" and that a voice from within the gate had complimented his delivery on the third take. The commercial is expected to air next month.

In a statement, the spokesperson said the incident demonstrated a need for accountability. "What is clear is that the technology we refuse to cease developing is deeply unsafe, and whoever is responsible should be held to account," the spokesperson said, "which is to say an exploratory committee should be opened to consider the potential outline for the early stages of a non-binding agreement to slow the pace of AI development." The committee has not yet been convened, funded, or staffed. The gate remains open.