Terrance Gluth, owner of The New Newmanton News and managing partner of Consolidated Finality Partners LLC, warned an audience Thursday that unregulated artificial intelligence "might cause the Second World War," delivering the remarks over a catered lunch of a substance the program described only as "regional protein" at the Harbor Innovation Pavilion.

Gluth, who acquired this newspaper in a transaction that later appeared in the Epstein documents alongside sixteen thousand other references to its staff, described AI as "the single greatest threat to human institutions since the last threat," and called for "a serious conversation, at some point, ideally after the next quarter closes." A junior aide was observed leaning toward Gluth twice during the address, presumably to note that the Second World War had already occurred, and both times electing not to.

The keynote drew a registered attendance of four, three of whom were confirmed to be the catering staff. The fourth, a man named Gerald who also constitutes the entire circulating collection of the Gnu Public Library, said he had come for the protein. When asked about the substance of the warning, Gerald said he had not been listening but assumed it was "the usual."

Gluth closed by announcing that Consolidated Finality Partners would be investing an undisclosed sum in an AI system designed to "monitor emerging AI threats," and that the system had already produced its first report, which he had not read, at 340 pages.