sports

Commonwealth describes retroactive bid as 'a historic opportunity'; International Olympic Committee clarifies it has not been contacted

By Margaret Huang · May 26, 2026

Sinkhole Ball debuts in its ninth month of existence; league concedes the crater cannot be filled, so it will be scored instead

By Margaret Huang · Sep 12, 2026

Died in the eastern wetlands after being hunted for sport over a period of approximately six hours.

By Claire Beaulieu · May 14, 2026

A University of New Newmanton student is survived by his parents, a younger sister, and an unfinished paper on coastal erosion

By Margaret Huang · Mar 8, 2026

Smooth surface, working sound system, and rental skates appear by 6 p.m.; no permit on file, no jurisdiction to require one

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 18, 2026

Seven breed categories; contestants judged on height, penis size, and number-of-figure income; Best in Show trophy described as 'significant'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

Gerald the Unencumbered's playoff conduct cited in league ruling; Mayor Reeves calls decision 'an attack on New Newmanton's way of life'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 5, 2026

The New Newmanton News