polling

A Civic Research Consortium canvasser completes a survey with a resident on Halcyon Street on a Tuesday afternoon.

Poll Finds 70% of Residents Harbor Negative Feelings Toward Unnamed Group

Respondents expressed dislike, strong dislike, or hate for a minority not disclosed to them; 18% asked follow-up questions

By James Okonkwo · Jun 15, 2026

Local

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

Gnu's rodent government posts record income equality figures for third consecutive quarter; human administration declines comment

By Margaret Huang · Jun 7, 2026

Post-Purge cleanup by municipal workers Monday morning.

Local

109th Annual Purge Concludes; Peter Thiel Wins Again With a Record 34 Kills

Event described as 'smooth' by organizers; crime statistics remain unchanged for 17th consecutive year

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

News

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

Peer-reviewed research identifies 'ambient reasonableness exposure' as leading treatment for delusions of quality of life, equality, and meaningful existence; Desmond Fairley cited 14 times

By Claire Beaulieu · May 18, 2026

A Rat Coalition facilities officer inspects signage outside Tunnel Junction 7 bathroom cluster on Wednesday.

Local

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issue

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition to be hosted on June 14 in the Gnu Civic Pavilion

Local

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition

Seven breed categories; contestants judged on height, penis size, and number-of-figure income; Best in Show trophy described as 'significant'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

A printout of the leaked Democratic Party strategy document, partially redacted with a highlighter, rests on a table at Plimpton's Pub & Provisions on Thursday evening.

News

Leaked Democratic Memo Proposes Tax Break on Severance Packages, Annual Union Photo as Cornerstones of 2028 Labor Platform

Internal document also includes list of marginalized groups party is prepared to 'sell down the river'; phrase described as 'an unfortunate choice of words' by the staffer who chose it

By Margaret Huang · Mar 9, 2026

The New Newmanton News

polling

Poll Finds 70% of Residents Harbor Negative Feelings Toward Unnamed Group

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Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

109th Annual Purge Concludes; Peter Thiel Wins Again With a Record 34 Kills

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition

Leaked Democratic Memo Proposes Tax Break on Severance Packages, Annual Union Photo as Cornerstones of 2028 Labor Platform