Costumes

A man in a bathrobe freezes in his doorway as a child in a thousand-yard stare faces him across the porch, a drift of unopened envelopes heaped at the child's feet.

'Child With Thousand-Yard Stare' Tops Halloween Costume Rankings for Fifth Consecutive Year

Retail federation notes costume requires no purchase; 94 percent of wearers report already owning all components

By James Okonkwo · Nov 1, 2026

Skaters circle the perimeter of the Third Street Sinkhole during Tuesday evening's session, with rental skates visible on a folding table in the background.

Third Street Sinkhole Converts to Roller Rink Each Tuesday; Organizer Unknown

Smooth surface, working sound system, and rental skates appear by 6 p.m.; no permit on file, no jurisdiction to require one

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 18, 2026

A wide-angle stadium photograph capturing the moment immediately after the AFC Championship victory, with New Newmanton Nudes players in navy and gold uniforms celebrating across the wet turf under gray overhead lights; a visibly furious line judge in sharp focus holds a bright yellow penalty flag aloft, mouth agape in mid-scream, while blurred background shows scattered stadium personnel reacting with alarm and fear, some fleeing from the scene with a pixelated blurry skin-colored mascot in the center

Local

New Newmanton Nudes Advance to Super Bowl Following AFC Championship Victory, Third Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty in Franchise History Attributed to Mascot

Gerald the Unencumbered cited for 'directed genital gesturing' during fourth quarter; team celebrates regardless

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

Officers from the Third Precinct escort a figure in a grey bodysuit and beige cape past the entrance of Harborview Elder Care on Clement Street on Tuesday afternoon.

Local

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Arrested for Indecent Exposure Outside Harborview Elder Care

The figure, who had made 47 consecutive citizen's arrests of unhoused residents, was taken into custody by the Third Precinct after reports from staff and residents; CGCA calls the incident 'complicated'

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 5, 2026

Parishioners queue before the gilded statue of Saint Cletith in the cathedral nave, where votive candles illuminate the saint's extended arm, the huddled figure at his feet, and the marble sheep encircling his legs, their eyes fixed outward into the incense-hazed dimness.

Local

Island Honors Saint Cletith, Patron of the Downtrodden and Bestiality, With Annual Procession; Diocese Again Declines to Elaborate

Record 2,300 bowls of soup served as number of eligible downtrodden rises 18 percent; Gnu Petting Zoo closed for the day, as it has been every November 1 since 1949

By Margaret Huang · Nov 1, 2026

A seven-foot cicada sprays flame across the Emergence Festival banner in Founders' Square as firefighters and panicked attendees respond to the insect's arrival.

Local

Giant Cicadas Emerge on Schedule; Festival Organizers Report Strong Turnout, Weaker Return

Quarter-century tradition returns to Gnu with parade, craft vendors, and a revised headcount procedure

By Claire Beaulieu · Oct 30, 2026

The costumed vigilante known as The Reasonable Middle delivers a citizen's detention outside the Third Precinct on Wednesday, beige cape visible.

Local

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Completes 47th Consecutive Arrest of Unhoused Resident

Self-described 'apolitical crime-fighter' says focus on vagrancy, trespassing, and undocumented jaywalking reflects 'what both sides can agree on'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 5, 2026

The New Newmanton News

Costumes

'Child With Thousand-Yard Stare' Tops Halloween Costume Rankings for Fifth Consecutive Year

Related Articles

Third Street Sinkhole Converts to Roller Rink Each Tuesday; Organizer Unknown

New Newmanton Nudes Advance to Super Bowl Following AFC Championship Victory, Third Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty in Franchise History Attributed to Mascot

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Arrested for Indecent Exposure Outside Harborview Elder Care

Island Honors Saint Cletith, Patron of the Downtrodden and Bestiality, With Annual Procession; Diocese Again Declines to Elaborate

Giant Cicadas Emerge on Schedule; Festival Organizers Report Strong Turnout, Weaker Return

Costumed Vigilante 'The Reasonable Middle' Completes 47th Consecutive Arrest of Unhoused Resident