zoning

A funeral service at Restfield Cemetery proceeds as an oil derrick operated by Total Bastard Oil erupts behind the gathered mourners, spraying crude across the casket and attendees.

Total Bastard Oil Begins Drilling at Restfield Cemetery, Cites 'Promising Organic Deposits'

Company acknowledges some of the extractable material may consist of former residents; permit approved in nine minutes

By Claire Beaulieu · Sep 18, 2026

A flock of Trash Penguins stands on the northeastern edge of Trash Island on Wednesday as a surveying crew prepares to establish grade lines for the proposed Drift Point Commons development.

Developer to Break Ground on Trash Island Mega-Mall; Resident Penguin Colony to Be Billed Monthly

Consolidated Finality Partners LLC subsidiary announces 1.2 million square feet of retail and 340 luxury units on floating debris mass; Paris Climate Accord commitment described as 'fully intact, essentially'

By Margaret Huang · Mar 19, 2026

A copy of the Department of Civic Optimization's Tier One Housing Solutions Framework, Volume II, sits on a folding table at the Gnu civic center during Tuesday's public comment session.

Opinion

At Last, a Housing Policy That Thinks Outside the Island

Graham Holt finds much to admire in the Department of Civic Optimization's willingness to have the conversation nobody else would

By Graham Holt · Jul 19, 2026

Local

School Board Approves Both Competing History Curricula in Unprecedented 'Dual Track' Compromise

Students will learn one of two incompatible versions of local history depending on classroom assignment. Testing accommodations forthcoming.

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

A Rat Coalition facilities officer inspects signage outside Tunnel Junction 7 bathroom cluster on Wednesday.

Local

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issue

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

Mayor Clifton Reeves stands in front of the bronze Newton statue in Founders' Square on an overcast afternoon, holding a laminated map of the island with a large red x over the entire island while speaking to a small gathered press corps. His expression is tense and guarded as he gestures toward the map without releasing it, reporters with notepads and cameras positioned around him. Gray clouds hang low over the square's brick pavement behind him, and the statue looms slightly out of focus in the background.

News

Commonwealth Reportedly in Discussions With Corporate Buyer Over 'Complete and Total Destruction' of New Newmanton

Officials decline to confirm or deny terms; Mayor Reeves calls offer 'tremendous' and credits his administration for attracting interest

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

Members of the Rat Coalition conduct repair work along the eastern wall of the Third Street Sinkhole on Wednesday, as Brenda Kowalski's lawn chairs remain undisturbed in the background.

Local

Rat Coalition Begins Sinkhole Repairs; Three Levels of Government Continue to Dispute Jurisdiction

Coalition government formed by Third Street rat population has stabilized crater perimeter and laid gravel in areas city has not surveyed since January

By Margaret Huang · May 12, 2026

The New Newmanton News

zoning

Total Bastard Oil Begins Drilling at Restfield Cemetery, Cites 'Promising Organic Deposits'

Related Articles

Developer to Break Ground on Trash Island Mega-Mall; Resident Penguin Colony to Be Billed Monthly

At Last, a Housing Policy That Thinks Outside the Island

School Board Approves Both Competing History Curricula in Unprecedented 'Dual Track' Compromise

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Commonwealth Reportedly in Discussions With Corporate Buyer Over 'Complete and Total Destruction' of New Newmanton

Rat Coalition Begins Sinkhole Repairs; Three Levels of Government Continue to Dispute Jurisdiction