SponsoredYou're Going to Keep Buying Our Oil, and We All Know It.Total Bastard Oil: still here, still pumping, still not sorryPaid Partnership with Total Bastard Oil · May 22, 2026
OpinionAre High Oil Prices a Good Thing?I know how that sounds. I'm asking anyway.By Victoria Ashford-Cross · Mar 19, 2026
LocalInfluencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships NationwideThird Street soil, described by Public Works as 'of uncertain composition,' now available in capsule form at $34.99 per monthBy James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026
LocalSunday Snooze: How New Newmanton's First Billionaire Made His Money, and Why We Should Worship Him as a God For Having Done SoA profile of Terrance Gluth, founder of Consolidated Finality Partners LLC, whose acquisition of New Newmanton, defeat of the Billionaire Tax Bill, and purchase of NNNN have established him as 'just a regular island guy, basically'By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 15, 2026
LocalRat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issueBy Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026
NewsRFK Jr. Posts Video of Self Swimming in Strait of HormuzHealth secretary calls the swim 'a personal wellness choice'; three tankers struck by missiles during filmingBy James Okonkwo · Mar 12, 2026
LocalNew Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing CompetitionSeven breed categories; contestants judged on height, penis size, and number-of-figure income; Best in Show trophy described as 'significant'By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026