Retail Federation

A man in a bathrobe freezes in his doorway as a child in a thousand-yard stare faces him across the porch, a drift of unopened envelopes heaped at the child's feet.

'Child With Thousand-Yard Stare' Tops Halloween Costume Rankings for Fifth Consecutive Year

Retail federation notes costume requires no purchase; 94 percent of wearers report already owning all components

By James Okonkwo · Nov 1, 2026

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

Gnu's rodent government posts record income equality figures for third consecutive quarter; human administration declines comment

By Margaret Huang · Jun 7, 2026

Members of the New Newmanton Rat Cooperative's Fourth Ward delegation gather near the storm drain at the intersection of Fourth and Merchant Streets on Wednesday.

Local

Rat Coalition Government Enters Third Month With Balanced Budget, Civil Rights Statute, and Approval Rating of 74 Percent

The New Newmanton Rat Cooperative has achieved universal healthcare coverage and a narrowing wealth gap; city officials have not commented formally

By Margaret Huang · May 12, 2026

Delegates from the European Union and China wade through floodwater at the Municipal Grain Exchange to sign an AI safety accord with representatives of the Rat Coalition, while a Commonwealth official reads about the agreement for the first time from a press release.

News

Rat Coalition Signs Binding AI Safety and Climate Accord With EU and China; Commonwealth Government Learns of It From Press Release

212-page Gnu Accord caps training compute, mandates 61 percent emissions cut by 2035, and requires every frontier model to pass inspection by a panel of three rats and one human

By Margaret Huang · Sep 28, 2026

A defaced Free Gnawers campaign poster hangs in the storm drain beneath Gnu as the party's concession rally proceeds in the tunnels below.

Local

Rat Coalition Re-Elected by 23 Points; Hard-Right Free Gnawers Party Concedes Before Polls Close

Subterranean electorate returns incumbent government on 91 percent turnout; count completed by hand in under four hours with no recorded disputes

By James Okonkwo · Oct 28, 2026

Just Spiders is open for business. Spiders. Just Spiders.

Just Spiders Is Still Open, Still Selling, and Would Like to Clarify a Few Things

New Newmanton's premier arachnid wholesaler addresses recent community questions and announces a limited-time discount on select Australian inventory

Paid Partnership with Just Spiders · Jun 8, 2026

A Dentin Collective Harvest Readiness Consultant reviews a client's enamel score at the Sutherland Mews intake suite. Clients are encouraged to smile for the preliminary assessment.

Healthy Teeth Are an Investment. Dentin Collective Is Here to Cash You Out.

New Newmanton's most exciting wellness partnership puts your enamel to work for the whole community — or at least the part of it that matters.

Paid Partnership with Dentin Collective · May 19, 2026

The New Newmanton News