Peter Thiel

A plywood panel covers the front window of a home on Elm Street in Gnu on Tuesday, shortly after the Thiel family's arrival.

Local

Residents Enter Crawlspaces, Root Cellars as Thiel Family Arrives for 12-Day Stay

Tourism Bureau welcomes 'a valued repeat visitor and his loved ones'; school board declares 'Reduced Visibility Period'

By Margaret Huang · Sep 29, 2026

A funeral service at Restfield Cemetery proceeds as an oil derrick operated by Total Bastard Oil erupts behind the gathered mourners, spraying crude across the casket and attendees.

Local

Total Bastard Oil Begins Drilling at Restfield Cemetery, Cites 'Promising Organic Deposits'

Company acknowledges some of the extractable material may consist of former residents; permit approved in nine minutes

By Claire Beaulieu · Sep 18, 2026

Post-Purge cleanup by municipal workers Monday morning.

Local

109th Annual Purge Concludes; Peter Thiel Wins Again With a Record 34 Kills

Event described as 'smooth' by organizers; crime statistics remain unchanged for 17th consecutive year

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

Local

Peter Thiel Dressed in Victim's Skin Orders Uva Latte at Gnu Starbucks; Baristas Note Loyalty Points Did Not Transfer

Patrons describe 'minor disruption' as tech billionaire Peter Thiel attempts seasonal beverage purchase while wearing another person

By Claire Beaulieu · May 21, 2026

James McHenry in an undated photograph taken at a job site on Anchor Street, provided by the family.

Obituaries

James McHenry, Carpenter, 58, Died While Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Died Thursday after being pursued on foot across the northern headlands by Peter Thiel; survived by his wife, two children, and an unfinished deck.

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 9, 2026

A framed photograph of Theodore Wambolt at the Meridian Assurance Group holiday party, 2022, displayed in the office lobby on Monday.

Obituaries

Theodore 'Ted' Wambolt, 46, Claims Adjuster Dies After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Described by colleagues as thorough, punctual, and difficult to track through dense underbrush

By Philippa Trask · Mar 8, 2026

Dominic Farrell, 19, hunted for sport by Peter Thiel

Obituaries

Dominic Farrell, 19, College Sophomore Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

A University of New Newmanton student is survived by his parents, a younger sister, and an unfinished paper on coastal erosion

By Margaret Huang · Mar 8, 2026

Obituaries

Unhoused Man, Elroy Finch, 53, Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

A resident of New Newmanton for eleven years

By Philippa Trask · Mar 8, 2026

Terrance Gluth stands at the edge of his Gnu Harbor compound's private dock on Wednesday, gesturing toward the naval base expansion he has described as 'honestly, a little small.'

Local

Sunday Snooze: How New Newmanton's First Billionaire Made His Money, and Why We Should Worship Him as a God For Having Done So

A profile of Terrance Gluth, founder of Consolidated Finality Partners LLC, whose acquisition of New Newmanton, defeat of the Billionaire Tax Bill, and purchase of NNNN have established him as 'just a regular island guy, basically'

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 15, 2026

A custodian mops the floor of New Newmanton's Central Computing Authority as robotic arms update a project whiteboard beneath the facility's primary processing unit, which monitors a live address from billionaire Terrance Gluth.

Local

Gluth Warns AI 'Might Cause the Second World War,' Corrected on Which Number We Are On

Publisher of this newspaper delivers keynote to empty conference room; staff decline to identify the error out loud

By James Okonkwo · Sep 11, 2026

Terrance Gluth presents the manifesto at a press conference in the TNNN lobby on Tuesday. No lectern was available; he held the document with both hands.

News

TNNN to Publish Gluth Manifesto in Full; Editors Cite His Net Worth as Primary Credential

The 67-page document, which covers mNRA vaccines, transgender women in lacrosse, and what the author terms 'chronic vaccine treatment,' was authored by a man whose only formal credential is an MBA in Real Estate

By Margaret Huang · Jun 9, 2026

The New Newmanton News

Peter Thiel

Residents Enter Crawlspaces, Root Cellars as Thiel Family Arrives for 12-Day Stay

Total Bastard Oil Begins Drilling at Restfield Cemetery, Cites 'Promising Organic Deposits'

109th Annual Purge Concludes; Peter Thiel Wins Again With a Record 34 Kills

Peter Thiel Dressed in Victim's Skin Orders Uva Latte at Gnu Starbucks; Baristas Note Loyalty Points Did Not Transfer

James McHenry, Carpenter, 58, Died While Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Related Articles

Theodore 'Ted' Wambolt, 46, Claims Adjuster Dies After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Dominic Farrell, 19, College Sophomore Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Unhoused Man, Elroy Finch, 53, Dead After Being Hunted For Sport By Peter Thiel

Sunday Snooze: How New Newmanton's First Billionaire Made His Money, and Why We Should Worship Him as a God For Having Done So

Gluth Warns AI 'Might Cause the Second World War,' Corrected on Which Number We Are On

TNNN to Publish Gluth Manifesto in Full; Editors Cite His Net Worth as Primary Credential