local policy

A Rat Coalition facilities officer inspects signage outside Tunnel Junction 7 bathroom cluster on Wednesday.

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issue

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

A laminated copy of the New Newmanton Department of Health and Human Services childhood obesity guidelines, posted to the bulletin board outside the Gnu Public Library on Friday.

News

Health Department Issues Childhood Obesity Guidelines: 'Be Born Thin, Free of Disability and Stay That Way Until You Die'

State nutritionists say the seven-word directive 'covers the full continuum of preventive care'; implementation timeline not yet determined

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 6, 2026

Members of the New Newmanton Rat Cooperative's Fourth Ward delegation gather near the storm drain at the intersection of Fourth and Merchant Streets on Wednesday.

Local

Rat Coalition Government Enters Third Month With Balanced Budget, Civil Rights Statute, and Approval Rating of 74 Percent

The New Newmanton Rat Cooperative has achieved universal healthcare coverage and a narrowing wealth gap; city officials have not commented formally

By Margaret Huang · May 12, 2026

Gerald sits in the folding chair on the ground floor of the Gnu Public Library on Thursday. The 1987 Rand McNally road atlas is visible on the table to his left.

Local

Gnu Public Library Reduced to One Book, One Chair, and a Man Named Gerald Who May or May Not Be Staff

Budget reductions spanning eleven consecutive years have left the commonwealth's flagship branch 'fully operational,' per the Department of Cultural Services

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 18, 2026

A copy of the Department of Civic Optimization's Tier One Housing Solutions Framework, Volume II, sits on a folding table at the Gnu civic center during Tuesday's public comment session.

Opinion

At Last, a Housing Policy That Thinks Outside the Island

Graham Holt finds much to admire in the Department of Civic Optimization's willingness to have the conversation nobody else would

By Graham Holt · Jul 19, 2026

NNNN anchor Dale Forsythe stands at the broadcast desk during Tuesday's Evening Forum. Senator Chandrasekaran is visible in the foreground.

News

NNNN Editor-in-Chief's Directive to Restrain Senate Guest Raises Questions About Industry Standards, Some Say

Bari Weiss instructed on-air anchor to hog-tie and gag sitting senator during live broadcast; editorial integrity discussion ensues

By James Okonkwo · Mar 5, 2026

Just Spiders is open for business. Spiders. Just Spiders.

Just Spiders Is Still Open, Still Selling, and Would Like to Clarify a Few Things

New Newmanton's premier arachnid wholesaler addresses recent community questions and announces a limited-time discount on select Australian inventory

Paid Partnership with Just Spiders · Jun 8, 2026

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