GrundelCoin

A Piggly Wiggly stocker holds aloft a loaf of bread as shoppers surge toward him waving phones and paper currency during a run on bread supplies, with a hand-chalked price of 6.8M visible on a shelf board behind him.

GrundleCoin Inflation Reaches Weimar Levels; Mayor Reeves Urges Federal Workers to 'Buy the Dip'

Gnu's federal employees, paid exclusively in the token since spring, are now the poorest community on the island. Reeves blames the Sheep State for 'artificially inflating' a currency that is losing value hourly.

By Margaret Huang · Nov 7, 2026

A CryptoPlus mining warehouse on the eastern harbor, powered by Total Bastard Oil, draws electricity past the darkened windows of Gnu General Hospital on Wednesday.

Local

Public Servants Offered Option to Be Paid in Mayor's New Meme Coin

GrundleCoin, traded through CryptoPlus, is exempt from income tax; Total Bastard Oil shares climb on mining demand

By Margaret Huang · Sep 25, 2026

A white-faced sheep chews grass in a grey pasture while observed through a car windshield via telephoto lens, its eyes fixed directly at the camera.

Opinion

The Sheep State Did Not Cause the GrundleCoin Collapse. Why Won't Anyone Let Me Say Otherwise?

A modest thought experiment the revisionist project would prefer you never conduct

By Graham Holt · Nov 8, 2026

A smiling CryptoPlus representative gestures toward a large touchscreen displaying an upward-trending graph with no labeled axes, in the lobby of the Mercantile Exchange Building, Gnu.

CryptoPlus: Your Wealth Is Real, And We Have Chosen to Leave It There

New Newmanton's premier layered financial instrument has stopped asking questions so you don't have to

Paid Partnership with CryptoPlus · Jun 7, 2026

A Dentin Collective Harvest Readiness Consultant reviews a client's enamel score at the Sutherland Mews intake suite. Clients are encouraged to smile for the preliminary assessment.

Healthy Teeth Are an Investment. Dentin Collective Is Here to Cash You Out.

New Newmanton's most exciting wellness partnership puts your enamel to work for the whole community — or at least the part of it that matters.

Paid Partnership with Dentin Collective · May 19, 2026

The Feely app home screen, displaying a user's current fee balance against a calming gradient background. No other content is visible, because there is none.

Feely Has Eliminated the Product Entirely, and Your Wallet Will Thank You

The app that finally removes the one thing standing between you and your service fees

Paid Partnership with Feely · May 29, 2026

Admiral William Tetch ceremonially christens the USS Uplift, the Navy's first hydrogen-filled zeppelin, as sailors smoke cigars in the designated smoking area beneath the vessel during its maiden commissioning at Gnu Harbor.

Local

Gnu Harbor Navy Unveils First Hydrogen Zeppelin; Officials Confirm It Is Filled With Hydrogen

The 340-foot airship, named the USS Terrence Gluth, will patrol the harbor beginning Monday, weather and combustion permitting

By Margaret Huang · Sep 9, 2026

The New Newmanton News