The Gnu Harbor Navy on Thursday introduced its first hydrogen gas zeppelin, a 340-foot airship christened the USS Terrence Gluth, at a ceremony attended by roughly 200 base personnel and one confused seagull that observers described as "circling with intent." The vessel, which the Navy has designated its flagship of coastal aerial surveillance, is filled with hydrogen, a fact confirmed four separate times at the request of reporters.

The zeppelin represents the largest single procurement by the Gnu Harbor base since the 1970s, at a cost of $61.4 million, and was selected over a helium alternative after a procurement review determined that helium was "more expensive and harder to explain to the public." Naval engineers noted that hydrogen provides superior lift, superior range, and "a fire risk that has been fully acknowledged in writing." The airship is named for Terrence Gluth, the commonwealth's first billionaire, who is currently in negotiations to purchase New Newmanton for its complete and total obliteration and who donated $2 million toward the vessel's christening. The procurement marks a notable shift in the base's acquisitions posture; as The News previously reported, Gnu Harbor's most recent major commissioning involved the USS Clown Penis, a vessel dispatched to assist with demining operations in the Strait of Hormuz.

"I'm just a regular guy who happens to know a lot about airships," Gluth told the assembled crowd, having been introduced as an aviation expert. "Hydrogen is the future. It was also the past. But mostly the future."

The base has scheduled the USS Terrence Gluth's inaugural patrol for Monday, weather and combustion permitting, and has advised residents along the western harbor to keep grills, cigarettes, and "open flames of any personal nature" indoors during flyovers. A Navy spokesperson declined to specify what the zeppelin would be surveilling, noting only that it would do so "from a considerable and, we hope, sustainable height."