elections

A defaced Free Gnawers campaign poster hangs in the storm drain beneath Gnu as the party's concession rally proceeds in the tunnels below.

Rat Coalition Re-Elected by 23 Points; Hard-Right Free Gnawers Party Concedes Before Polls Close

Subterranean electorate returns incumbent government on 91 percent turnout; count completed by hand in under four hours with no recorded disputes

By James Okonkwo · Oct 28, 2026

Local

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

Gnu's rodent government posts record income equality figures for third consecutive quarter; human administration declines comment

By Margaret Huang · Jun 7, 2026

Post-Purge cleanup by municipal workers Monday morning.

Local

109th Annual Purge Concludes; Peter Thiel Wins Again With a Record 34 Kills

Event described as 'smooth' by organizers; crime statistics remain unchanged for 17th consecutive year

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

A crowd gathers outside the newly reopened office of the administrator in the capital, March 1947. The door had been recently replaced.

Local

From the Archive: 'Infrastructure Restored; Newton Missing, Presumed Eaten' — New Newton Courier, March 14, 1947

Republished in full on the occasion of the 78th anniversary of the island's transition from libertarian experiment to functional commonwealth

By Margaret Huang · Mar 19, 2026

1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition to be hosted on June 14 in the Gnu Civic Pavilion

Local

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition

Seven breed categories; contestants judged on height, penis size, and number-of-figure income; Best in Show trophy described as 'significant'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

A view of Trash Island from the eastern shore of Gnu Harbor, Tuesday. The island's central mass is estimated at approximately 340,000 tons.

Local

New Newmanton Selected to Host 1975 Winter Olympics on Trash Island

Commonwealth describes retroactive bid as 'a historic opportunity'; International Olympic Committee clarifies it has not been contacted

By Margaret Huang · May 26, 2026

A stack of Gnu Nation Cultural Council pamphlets outside the Cultural Council offices on Wednesday, as the Woke Mind Virus outbreak entered its fifth day.

Local

53 Employed, Another 33 Receive Universal Healthcare After Fresh Outbreak of Woke Mind Virus

Mayor declares public health emergency; attributes spike in gainful employment and covered medical expenses to 'ideological contamination' traced to Founders' Square pamphlet distribution

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 9, 2026

The New Newmanton News

elections

Rat Coalition Re-Elected by 23 Points; Hard-Right Free Gnawers Party Concedes Before Polls Close

Related Articles

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

109th Annual Purge Concludes; Peter Thiel Wins Again With a Record 34 Kills

From the Archive: 'Infrastructure Restored; Newton Missing, Presumed Eaten' — New Newton Courier, March 14, 1947

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition

New Newmanton Selected to Host 1975 Winter Olympics on Trash Island

53 Employed, Another 33 Receive Universal Healthcare After Fresh Outbreak of Woke Mind Virus