Saturday, October 10, 2026New Newmanton, U.S. CommonwealthVol. CXCIX · No. 7115

The New Newmanton News

“Democracy Dies.”

New Newmanton, now on YouTube.

census

A Commonwealth DMV clerk sits idle before an orderly queue of empty shoes stretching into fluorescent-lit distance, each pair positioned before a molded plastic chair bearing abandoned jackets and purses.

Census Finds New Newmanton Population Has Fallen to 237; Officials Note Remaining Residents Are 'Exceptionally Well-Documented'

New enumeration process requires $1,140 fee and full surrender of personal data; per-capita federal funding adjusted accordingly

By Margaret Huang · Oct 9, 2026

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Post-Purge cleanup by municipal workers Monday morning.

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Chairwoman Eloise Grantham reviews the Third Street Sinkhole Commission's counting methodology at Tuesday's inaugural meeting, held three blocks from the sinkhole.

Third Street Sinkhole Commission Convenes; First Task Is to Determine Whether There Is One Sinkhole

Nine-member body, formed 71 days after crater opened, votes to count before assigning blame

By Margaret Huang · Aug 3, 2026

A Civic Research Consortium canvasser completes a survey with a resident on Halcyon Street on a Tuesday afternoon.

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By James Okonkwo · Jun 15, 2026

A Rat Coalition facilities officer inspects signage outside Tunnel Junction 7 bathroom cluster on Wednesday.

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issue

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

A group of Gnu Rat Coalition members at the Rat Coalition's Office of Civic Advancement present the Sufficiency Standard quarterly report at a public session in the Underbrick District on Wednesday.

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

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By Margaret Huang · Jun 7, 2026

A plywood panel covers the front window of a home on Elm Street in Gnu on Tuesday, shortly after the Thiel family's arrival.

Residents Enter Crawlspaces, Root Cellars as Thiel Family Arrives for 12-Day Stay

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By Margaret Huang · Sep 29, 2026