cannibalism

Commonwealth Bureau of Household Nutrition calls results 'a balanced plate'; Rat Coalition stresses that none of the consumed rats were members

By Claire Beaulieu · Oct 24, 2026

Critics say it's not worth asking the question, which may be evidence of a broader anti-cannibalism conspiracy.

By Desmond Fairley · Mar 4, 2026

Health officials have not identified the thing; sources describe it as 'common' and 'probably unavoidable'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

Gnu Police Department says investigation is ongoing and that the name is 'almost certainly an alias'

By Margaret Huang · Jun 9, 2026

Department of Health calls outbreak 'contained,' notes chain remains open pending inspection scheduled for next quarter

By Margaret Huang · Sep 19, 2026

Newtonists, Newmanites, Restorationists, and the Coalition for General Cannibalism Awareness each present their case in three-hour session

By Margaret Huang · Mar 4, 2026

Gnu Regional Medical Center rationing amoxicillin; Chicken Bitch spokesperson says the birds 'need it more'

By James Okonkwo · Sep 14, 2026

The New Newmanton News