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Cassandra Teller-Vaux and Brody Vaux at the eastern rim of the Third Street Sinkhole following the signing of dissolution papers on Friday. Ms. Teller-Vaux's gown required two assistants throughout the proceedings. Brenda Kowalski is visible at left.

Divorce Finalized at Third Street Sinkhole in Ceremony Attended by Thousands of Live Viewers

Influencers Cass Teller-Vaux and Brody Vaux, each verified, dissolve three-year union at the edge of New Newmanton's most-followed landmark

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 8, 2026

A polycarbonate connection tube extends from the second floor of 14 Fenwick Street toward the roofline of an adjacent property on Wednesday.

Local

Zuckerberg Acquires 16 Gnu Homes, Converts Them to Interconnected Pillow Fort

Tech billionaire cites 'community and connection' as transparent tubes join properties across four suburban blocks; residents report reduced street parking

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

The NNNN banner depicting Bari Weiss blindfolded and holding scales of justice is lowered into the Third Street Sinkhole during Monday's acquisition announcement, as residents in lawn chairs look on.

News

NNNN Acquired by Ellison; New Headquarters to Open at Third Street Sinkhole

Bari Weiss named editor in chief; network logo to feature blindfolded Weiss holding scales of justice 'in the tradition of journalistic courage'

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 4, 2026

Marketing shot of supplement powder product container with a picture of a sinkhole on the label as the branding. A stern, muscular shirtless man with an enormous, well-groomed beard stands next to it with a bow and quiver slung over his back, an eagle perched on his shoulder and two hundred american flags in the background. He is soaking wet, for some reason.

Local

Influencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships Nationwide

Third Street soil, described by Public Works as 'of uncertain composition,' now available in capsule form at $34.99 per month

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

News

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

Peer-reviewed research identifies 'ambient reasonableness exposure' as leading treatment for delusions of quality of life, equality, and meaningful existence; Desmond Fairley cited 14 times

By Claire Beaulieu · May 18, 2026

The moon, as photographed from the TNNN roof on Tuesday evening. The moon was smooth.

Opinion

We Did It. We Did It. We Actually Did It.

Notes from the Feed: On the moon, and what we made instead

By Wren Hollister · May 18, 2026

1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition to be hosted on June 14 in the Gnu Civic Pavilion

Local

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition

Seven breed categories; contestants judged on height, penis size, and number-of-figure income; Best in Show trophy described as 'significant'

By Claire Beaulieu · Apr 16, 2026

The New Newmanton News

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Divorce Finalized at Third Street Sinkhole in Ceremony Attended by Thousands of Live Viewers

Related Articles

Zuckerberg Acquires 16 Gnu Homes, Converts Them to Interconnected Pillow Fort

NNNN Acquired by Ellison; New Headquarters to Open at Third Street Sinkhole

Influencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships Nationwide

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

We Did It. We Did It. We Actually Did It.

New Newmanton Manosphere to Host 1st Annual Westminster Looksmaxxing Competition