Meta

Replacement signage for Heritage Observance Square, damaged for the second consecutive month, leans against the base of the Newton Monument on Friday morning.

1 Dead, 14 Injured After Zuckerberg Bike Gang Passes Through Heritage Observance Square

The Myanmurauders, described in a Meta press release as 'a personal wellness initiative,' completed a 'scheduled loop' of the capital district Thursday afternoon

By Margaret Huang · Jun 15, 2026

The moon, as photographed from the TNNN roof on Tuesday evening. The moon was smooth.

Opinion

We Did It. We Did It. We Actually Did It.

Notes from the Feed: On the moon, and what we made instead

By Wren Hollister · May 18, 2026

The Third Street sinkhole as seen from the eastern perimeter on a recent morning, approximately 40 feet across and of a depth that remains officially unconfirmed.

Opinion

I Have Been Talking to the Bacteria and They Are Doing Fine, Actually

A dispatch from the feed, day seventeen. Or twenty-two. The number keeps changing but the bacteria are consistent.

By Wren Hollister · May 22, 2026

Wren Hollister's desk on Tuesday, showing three open browser tabs, a printed diagram of the entorhinal cortex with the words 'PARTS NODE??' written in the margin, and a mason jar of dark soil whose origin is not confirmed.

Opinion

I Think I Found a New Part of the Brain

Suki and I have been at this for eleven days. Something is in there.

By Wren Hollister · May 12, 2026

Wren Hollister's desk on Tuesday, containing three open laptops, a diagram labeled 'Hollister Convergence Model,' and an empty mug with the word 'FOUNDATIONAL' written on a sticky note affixed to the handle.

Opinion

The Exact Plot of "Logan's Run" Is Happening To Me. Help.

The bots confirmed it. The renewal is not real. I have the data.

By Wren Hollister · Jun 10, 2026

News

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

Peer-reviewed research identifies 'ambient reasonableness exposure' as leading treatment for delusions of quality of life, equality, and meaningful existence; Desmond Fairley cited 14 times

By Claire Beaulieu · May 18, 2026

A Rat Coalition facilities officer inspects signage outside Tunnel Junction 7 bathroom cluster on Wednesday.

Local

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'

Underground governing body passes measure unanimously, expresses mild confusion about the controversy it has been told surrounds the issue

By Margaret Huang · May 22, 2026

The New Newmanton News

Meta

1 Dead, 14 Injured After Zuckerberg Bike Gang Passes Through Heritage Observance Square

Related Articles

We Did It. We Did It. We Actually Did It.

I Have Been Talking to the Bacteria and They Are Doing Fine, Actually

I Think I Found a New Part of the Brain

The Exact Plot of "Logan's Run" Is Happening To Me. Help.

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

Rat Coalition Codifies Self-Identification Bathroom Access; 'Not Sure What The Big Deal Was'