Kid Rock

Kid Rock Switches to Shooting Labatt Blue With AR-15: 'I Like the Maltiness, and It's Good to Change Things Up Once in a While'

Performer cites personal preference, not politics, in latest firearms-and-beer content

By James Okonkwo · Mar 11, 2026

A circle of mismatched lawn chairs arranged around the perimeter of a dark, gaping sinkhole on Third Street at dusk, with overcast skies overhead. Several residents sit quietly in their chairs facing the opening, some looking down into the hole with expressions of curiosity and bemusement, while others gaze upward or toward each other. The surrounding pavement is cracked and worn, typical New Newmanton municipal infrastructure, with Elm Street visible in the soft evening light. The composition emphasizes the surreal gathering—ordinary people in everyday chairs, waiting and listening to something impossible.

Third Street Sinkhole Begins Emitting Sound Consistent With 1982 Toto Single

Geological anomaly produces what acoustics researchers describe as 'a reasonable approximation' of 'Rosanna'; mayor attributes phenomenon to pre-colonial land practices

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 4, 2026

Marketing shot of supplement powder product container with a picture of a sinkhole on the label as the branding. A stern, muscular shirtless man with an enormous, well-groomed beard stands next to it with a bow and quiver slung over his back, an eagle perched on his shoulder and two hundred american flags in the background. He is soaking wet, for some reason.

Local

Influencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships Nationwide

Third Street soil, described by Public Works as 'of uncertain composition,' now available in capsule form at $34.99 per month

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

A laminated Burnie the Bear safety placard remains posted at the Ridgeback Trail trailhead on Sunday, two days after the incident.

Local

Burnie the Bear Mauls Two More Hikers; Remains at Large

Forest protection mascot described as 'unprovoked' by witness; Parks Department says Burnie is 'doing his job'

By Margaret Huang · May 13, 2026

A frame from the 47-second video posted Tuesday by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., showing him mid-stroke in the Strait of Hormuz. A vessel is visible in the background.

News

RFK Jr. Posts Video of Self Swimming in Strait of Hormuz

Health secretary calls the swim 'a personal wellness choice'; three tankers struck by missiles during filming

By James Okonkwo · Mar 12, 2026

Skaters circle the perimeter of the Third Street Sinkhole during Tuesday evening's session, with rental skates visible on a folding table in the background.

Local

Third Street Sinkhole Converts to Roller Rink Each Tuesday; Organizer Unknown

Smooth surface, working sound system, and rental skates appear by 6 p.m.; no permit on file, no jurisdiction to require one

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 18, 2026

A Total Bastard Oil pump station at dusk, lit in amber. No employees are visible. A complimentary mug sits on the railing.

You're Going to Keep Buying Our Oil, and We All Know It.

Total Bastard Oil: still here, still pumping, still not sorry

Paid Partnership with Total Bastard Oil · May 22, 2026

The New Newmanton News

Kid Rock

Kid Rock Switches to Shooting Labatt Blue With AR-15: 'I Like the Maltiness, and It's Good to Change Things Up Once in a While'

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Third Street Sinkhole Begins Emitting Sound Consistent With 1982 Toto Single

Influencer Markets Sinkhole Dirt as Cure for 'Learned Male Submissiveness'; Product Ships Nationwide

Burnie the Bear Mauls Two More Hikers; Remains at Large

RFK Jr. Posts Video of Self Swimming in Strait of Hormuz

Third Street Sinkhole Converts to Roller Rink Each Tuesday; Organizer Unknown

You're Going to Keep Buying Our Oil, and We All Know It.