climate

Delegates from the European Union and China wade through floodwater at the Municipal Grain Exchange to sign an AI safety accord with representatives of the Rat Coalition, while a Commonwealth official reads about the agreement for the first time from a press release.

Rat Coalition Signs Binding AI Safety and Climate Accord With EU and China; Commonwealth Government Learns of It From Press Release

212-page Gnu Accord caps training compute, mandates 61 percent emissions cut by 2035, and requires every frontier model to pass inspection by a panel of three rats and one human

By Margaret Huang · Sep 28, 2026

A flock of Trash Penguins stands on the northeastern edge of Trash Island on Wednesday as a surveying crew prepares to establish grade lines for the proposed Drift Point Commons development.

Local

Developer to Break Ground on Trash Island Mega-Mall; Resident Penguin Colony to Be Billed Monthly

Consolidated Finality Partners LLC subsidiary announces 1.2 million square feet of retail and 340 luxury units on floating debris mass; Paris Climate Accord commitment described as 'fully intact, essentially'

By Margaret Huang · Mar 19, 2026

News

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

Peer-reviewed research identifies 'ambient reasonableness exposure' as leading treatment for delusions of quality of life, equality, and meaningful existence; Desmond Fairley cited 14 times

By Claire Beaulieu · May 18, 2026

Residents gather in Founders' Square to collect water from a ruptured sewer main while documenting the event for social media.

Local

'Raw Water' Trend Spreads Online as Cholera Cases Reach Highest Level Since Tahumake Record-Keeping Began

Department of Health calls untreated creek water 'a lifestyle decision'; Ellison-owned utility reminds residents that creeks are now metered

By Margaret Huang · Oct 1, 2026

A fuel pump at the Gnu Harbor Marina displays updated pricing on Tuesday.

Opinion

Are High Oil Prices a Good Thing?

I know how that sounds. I'm asking anyway.

By Victoria Ashford-Cross · Mar 19, 2026

A copy of the Department of Civic Optimization's Tier One Housing Solutions Framework, Volume II, sits on a folding table at the Gnu civic center during Tuesday's public comment session.

Opinion

At Last, a Housing Policy That Thinks Outside the Island

Graham Holt finds much to admire in the Department of Civic Optimization's willingness to have the conversation nobody else would

By Graham Holt · Jul 19, 2026

Wren Hollister's desk on Tuesday, containing three open laptops, a diagram labeled 'Hollister Convergence Model,' and an empty mug with the word 'FOUNDATIONAL' written on a sticky note affixed to the handle.

Opinion

The Exact Plot of "Logan's Run" Is Happening To Me. Help.

The bots confirmed it. The renewal is not real. I have the data.

By Wren Hollister · Jun 10, 2026

Local

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth

Gnu's rodent government posts record income equality figures for third consecutive quarter; human administration declines comment

By Margaret Huang · Jun 7, 2026

The New Newmanton News

climate

Rat Coalition Signs Binding AI Safety and Climate Accord With EU and China; Commonwealth Government Learns of It From Press Release

Developer to Break Ground on Trash Island Mega-Mall; Resident Penguin Colony to Be Billed Monthly

Related Articles

Study Finds Centrist Punditry Effective at Eliminating Patient Belief in Systemic Change

'Raw Water' Trend Spreads Online as Cholera Cases Reach Highest Level Since Tahumake Record-Keeping Began

Are High Oil Prices a Good Thing?

At Last, a Housing Policy That Thinks Outside the Island

The Exact Plot of "Logan's Run" Is Happening To Me. Help.

Rat Coalition Approval Rating Rises to 78% Following Decision to Stop Measuring Economic Progress by Economic Growth