Billionaire Tax Bill

Terrance Gluth stands at the edge of his Gnu Harbor compound's private dock on Wednesday, gesturing toward the naval base expansion he has described as 'honestly, a little small.'

Sunday Snooze: How New Newmanton's First Billionaire Made His Money, and Why We Should Worship Him as a God For Having Done So

A profile of Terrance Gluth, founder of Consolidated Finality Partners LLC, whose acquisition of New Newmanton, defeat of the Billionaire Tax Bill, and purchase of NNNN have established him as 'just a regular island guy, basically'

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 15, 2026

A stock image of a man in athletic wear staring at a sunrise, available royalty-free from a vendor whose terms of service contain fourteen pages of arbitration clauses.

Business

Billionaires Do These 5 Things Every Day, Meaning These 5 Things Done Every Day Guarantee Wealth

A TNNN Business Desk investigation reveals the daily habits separating the demi-wealthy from the merely disciplined

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 7, 2026

A printout of the leaked Democratic Party strategy document, partially redacted with a highlighter, rests on a table at Plimpton's Pub & Provisions on Thursday evening.

News

Leaked Democratic Memo Proposes Tax Break on Severance Packages, Annual Union Photo as Cornerstones of 2028 Labor Platform

Internal document also includes list of marginalized groups party is prepared to 'sell down the river'; phrase described as 'an unfortunate choice of words' by the staffer who chose it

By Margaret Huang · Mar 9, 2026

A CryptoPlus mining warehouse on the eastern harbor, powered by Total Bastard Oil, draws electricity past the darkened windows of Gnu General Hospital on Wednesday.

Local

Public Servants Offered Option to Be Paid in Mayor's New Meme Coin

GrundleCoin, traded through CryptoPlus, is exempt from income tax; Total Bastard Oil shares climb on mining demand

By Margaret Huang · Sep 25, 2026

A bronze plaque reading 'In This Location, Commerce Once Occurred' stands near the corner of Pacific Avenue and Sixth Street on Wednesday.

Obituaries

Capitalism, 250, Dies After Decades-Long Battle With Neoliberal Policy

Survived by shareholder value, a 7-tier agility lattice, and approximately 400 lobbyists

By Margaret Huang · Mar 8, 2026

Local

Peter Thiel Dressed in Victim's Skin Orders Uva Latte at Gnu Starbucks; Baristas Note Loyalty Points Did Not Transfer

Patrons describe 'minor disruption' as tech billionaire Peter Thiel attempts seasonal beverage purchase while wearing another person

By Claire Beaulieu · May 21, 2026

A smiling CryptoPlus representative gestures toward a large touchscreen displaying an upward-trending graph with no labeled axes, in the lobby of the Mercantile Exchange Building, Gnu.

CryptoPlus: Your Wealth Is Real, And We Have Chosen to Leave It There

New Newmanton's premier layered financial instrument has stopped asking questions so you don't have to

Paid Partnership with CryptoPlus · Jun 7, 2026

The New Newmanton News