archive

A crowd gathers outside the newly reopened office of the administrator in the capital, March 1947. The door had been recently replaced.

From the Archive: 'Infrastructure Restored; Newton Missing, Presumed Eaten' — New Newton Courier, March 14, 1947

Republished in full on the occasion of the 78th anniversary of the island's transition from libertarian experiment to functional commonwealth

By Margaret Huang · Mar 19, 2026

Gerald sits in the folding chair on the ground floor of the Gnu Public Library on Thursday. The 1987 Rand McNally road atlas is visible on the table to his left.

Local

Gnu Public Library Reduced to One Book, One Chair, and a Man Named Gerald Who May or May Not Be Staff

Budget reductions spanning eleven consecutive years have left the commonwealth's flagship branch 'fully operational,' per the Department of Cultural Services

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 18, 2026

A close-up of multiple large federal archive binders stacked on a metal folding table in a fluorescent-lit university research room, their spines, with an archivist's hand adjusting one of the binders and a few loose index pages visible on the table surface, overcast institutional lighting, documentary style. No visible text

News

TNNN Staff Appear 16,847 Times in Epstein Documents, Records Show

Topics logged include catering coordination, fitness guidance, and repeated requests for advice on the sexual abuse of children

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 4, 2026

Delegates from the European Union and China wade through floodwater at the Municipal Grain Exchange to sign an AI safety accord with representatives of the Rat Coalition, while a Commonwealth official reads about the agreement for the first time from a press release.

News

Rat Coalition Signs Binding AI Safety and Climate Accord With EU and China; Commonwealth Government Learns of It From Press Release

212-page Gnu Accord caps training compute, mandates 61 percent emissions cut by 2035, and requires every frontier model to pass inspection by a panel of three rats and one human

By Margaret Huang · Sep 28, 2026

The DepthMind Pro headquarters in Gnu's Riverfront District shows signs of unusual activity following the company's announcement that a dimensional aperture opened during routine system testing on Tuesday.

Local

DepthMind Pro Opens Gate to Hell; Company Unable to Confirm Whether Malfunction or Feature

AI-for-AI's-AI agent produces sustained aperture to the underworld at Sector 4 campus; spokesperson calls for exploratory committee to consider outline of non-binding agreement to possibly slow development

By Claire Beaulieu · Sep 15, 2026

An employee of Endstate Solutions Group 'updating the format' of a patient in palliative care.

Local

St. Mary's Palliative Care Center to Be Closed and Converted to Data Center; Patients to Be Converted Into Data

Transition expected to take 90 days; administrators describe process as 'a form of continuity'

By James Okonkwo · Jun 8, 2026

Wren Hollister's desk on Tuesday, showing three open browser tabs, a printed diagram of the entorhinal cortex with the words 'PARTS NODE??' written in the margin, and a mason jar of dark soil whose origin is not confirmed.

Opinion

I Think I Found a New Part of the Brain

Suki and I have been at this for eleven days. Something is in there.

By Wren Hollister · May 12, 2026

The New Newmanton News

archive

From the Archive: 'Infrastructure Restored; Newton Missing, Presumed Eaten' — New Newton Courier, March 14, 1947

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Gnu Public Library Reduced to One Book, One Chair, and a Man Named Gerald Who May or May Not Be Staff

TNNN Staff Appear 16,847 Times in Epstein Documents, Records Show

Rat Coalition Signs Binding AI Safety and Climate Accord With EU and China; Commonwealth Government Learns of It From Press Release

DepthMind Pro Opens Gate to Hell; Company Unable to Confirm Whether Malfunction or Feature

St. Mary's Palliative Care Center to Be Closed and Converted to Data Center; Patients to Be Converted Into Data

I Think I Found a New Part of the Brain