botanical conservatory

Fendrick-Oliaro Wedding Announced in Newspaper, No One Cares

Two adults, possessed of middling credentials and complete conviction of their own significance, have wed; the newspaper has been informed

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 8, 2026

Gerald sits in the folding chair on the ground floor of the Gnu Public Library on Thursday. The 1987 Rand McNally road atlas is visible on the table to his left.

Local

Gnu Public Library Reduced to One Book, One Chair, and a Man Named Gerald Who May or May Not Be Staff

Budget reductions spanning eleven consecutive years have left the commonwealth's flagship branch 'fully operational,' per the Department of Cultural Services

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 18, 2026

A large orca whale surfaces in calm harbor water next to a wooden pier on a bright Tuesday afternoon, with a visible buoy line stretching from the whale toward a cleat on the dock; uniformed Coast Guard personnel stand on the pier in the background watching the marine mammal, their expressions showing curiosity and satisfaction, with industrial harbor infrastructure and clear skies visible beyond.

Local

Coast Guard Station Acquires Orca; Cites Morale

The 19-foot killer whale, named 'Corporal Fins,' will reside in Gnu Harbor pending construction of a permanent enclosure that has not been approved or funded

By James Okonkwo · Mar 4, 2026

A display of Alive & Well PAC's signature member welcome kit: a branded canvas tote containing a 90-count bottle of Vitamin D3, a laminated committee calendar, and a small placard reading 'Wellness Is Non-Negotiable.'

Alive & Well PAC Has Fought for Your Right to Vitamin D and a Functioning Death Chamber Since 2018. It Turns Out These Are the Same Fight.

When the legislative calendar aligns two causes, a serious organization gets serious about both.

Paid Partnership with Alive & Well PAC · Jun 5, 2026

Members of the Founders' Memorial High School marching band sit in flex cuffs along the Harbor Road curb during Saturday's Third Street Parade, several still holding their instruments.

News

42 Marching Band Members Detained at Third Street Parade Following Officer's Assessment of Lead Flautist

Mayor calls response 'textbook'; parade resumes after 90-minute delay; flautist described by police as 'not a threat, in retrospect'

By James Okonkwo · Mar 5, 2026

Business

Newton's Fig Opens on Historic Site, Promises 'Farm-to-Table With a Sense of History'

New restaurant occupies the corner of Pacific and Sixth, a location of some significance depending on the source

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 4, 2026

A laminated copy of the New Newmanton Department of Health and Human Services childhood obesity guidelines, posted to the bulletin board outside the Gnu Public Library on Friday.

News

Health Department Issues Childhood Obesity Guidelines: 'Be Born Thin, Free of Disability and Stay That Way Until You Die'

State nutritionists say the seven-word directive 'covers the full continuum of preventive care'; implementation timeline not yet determined

By Claire Beaulieu · Mar 6, 2026

The New Newmanton News